A Story of Elephants and Hope
By Christy Chambers
My story is a story of elephants, and of hope. Elephants display complex social and emotional behavior and are said to value their families more than most animals. Their families are ruled by the females. Elephants develop very strong intimate bonds between friends and family members. They naturally adopt non-relatives who act like family (20% of wild herds include nonrelatives). Elephants form lifelong friendships and even mourn the death of their loved ones. They are a great deal like us. I have an amazing family of origin. But I want to share what I have learned about the families we choose, or who choose us.
In 1990, I moved from Minnesota to attend UNC-Charlotte. I had never been to North Carolina and knew no one here. I found my home away from home in the theatre department. Spending many all nighters in costume morgues and scene shops, I couldn’t help but develop strong bonds with fellow students and faculty members. We were united by our passion for art and thus my first nonrelative family was born! I met my future husband in the theatre department. And when we finally married in 2002, our wedding party consisted of my nieces and members of my theater family from college and professional companies we had worked for throughout the years.
As the years passed we were adopted into other herds: work families, hobby families, etc. And with the birth of our son in 2010, we created our own family. Then in May of 2022, our bubble burst. I had thought that I was going through menopause and made an appointment with my gynecologist as I was overdue for my exam. Although he wouldn’t say so I could tell by my doctor’s face that there was something wrong. I had cervical cancer.
I was referred to an oncologist, given a diagnosis of stage 1 squamous cell carcinoma, and a treatment plan that consisted of low dose chemo, external, and internal radiation. Although shocking, it all sounded simple enough and the margins for eradication and recovery were good. But then I was faced with how to tell my family and close friends. I knew my immediate family would expect a phone call or at least a text. But how would I keep everyone else updated?
In this day and age, a Facebook page seemed the way to go, so my private page, “What A Beautiful Mess,” was born. On my public page I mentioned that I was beginning a cancer journey and that if you were interested in updates you could join the private page. What started as something informative became not only therapeutic for me, but was also the beginning of an amazing online community. It was a place where I could openly discuss my treatment, my fears, my questions and work through them. These people, mostly women, were so supportive. They laughed and cried with me, and offered positive thoughts, rides and even meals. And I was very much in need of all those things when in June 2022, I found out through a scan the cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes and I was re-staged to Stage 4b. There is a BIG difference between stage 1 and stage 4.
At this point in my journey I had still not met anyone with cervical cancer, and I had lots of questions! So I turned to the internet and googled ‘cervical cancer support’ and found Cervivor. Cervivor is a global community of patient advocates who inspire and empower those affected by cervical cancer by educating and motivating them to use their voices for creating awareness and ending cervical cancer. Right away I was welcomed into this circle via Facebook pages, Zoom calls and newsletters. It was both comforting and overwhelming to be in a space with other Cervivors, who instantly knew what I was going through.
But I still craved in person support. And so I began an outreach program of my own. I began to leave bracelets at my treatment centers. Each attached to a card containing contact info and a note stating I was a cancer warrior who wanted to remind other warriors that ‘no one fights alone’. Many of these recipients have joined my Facebook group, or Cervivor, or I’ve met in person.
As my treatment continued, my involvement in Cervivor continued to grow and in January 2023, I held my first fundraiser for cervical cancer. ‘Circle-Up with Christy’ was born, thanks to the generosity of Jennifer Hill and the Silver Lining Boutique in Monroe, NC. That same month I attended the Cervical Cancer Summit virtually and realized I wanted to be an advocate and that I was waging my own war against cancer. I could support and fight for everyone else while fighting for myself.
I won’t bog you down with all the details of my treatment: surgeries, visits to the ER, various side effects including double vision from October 2022 to December 2023. But I am happy to report that in May 2023 I received my N.E.D. - no evidence of disease! There was much celebrating in all my circles: my family, my online community, my Cervivor sisters, my bracelet family, etc.
In September 2023 I attended Cervivor School in Seattle. There I was trained in impactful storytelling so I could share my journey with confidence and enact change in my community. Once home I immediately submitted proclamations to my county government and the state to proclaim January 2024 Cervical Cancer Awareness Month. On December 18, 2023, I stood before the Union County Board of Commissioners to accept the approved proclamation in person. My request to the state was also granted and I received a digital copy in January 2024.
Survivors and thrivers jokingly say, “Cancer, the gift that keeps on giving.” But in truth cancer has given me an amazing community of women. Sure, we are members of a club no one wants to be a part of, but what a gift to be able to call these warriors ‘sisters’ and ‘family’? When I advocate, when I am welcomed into other circles, when I create my own communities, I offer others hope and joy, and they return it to me threefold by embracing me, accepting me, and helping me to grow on my journey.
My personal logo that I use for my advocacy work is an elephant with a cervical cancer ribbon. This quote from Allison Aars is why: “In the wild female elephants are known as fierce protectors. And when one of their sisters is suffering they circle up around her. They close in tight, watch guard, and even kick dust around her to mask her vulnerable scent from predators. And yet we are the same. This is who we are and who we are meant to be for each other. Sometimes we're the ones in the middle, sometimes we're the ones kicking up dust with fierce, fierce love. But the circle remains.”
There is always room in my family for more elephants.
