Reframing Resolutions for 2023
Photographer: Emily Nichols
By Samantha Nivens
Ah, the New Year. It is a beautiful time to take a moment to reflect and to renew our focus on what we really want our lives to look like. It truly is a very special time that comes but once a year. This year, I want to help you reframe the typical New Year's resolutions and actually use that renewed energy and vigor to dream again, as well as give you the tools to take action. This is going to be your year. This is YOUR time. Before we get into the juicy reframing details, let’s review the three things that typically happen that set us up for failure (meaning never fully reaching our goals or dreams).
One: goals based on what we should do versus what we really want.
Two: too many “all in goals,” high level goals set in every area versus one or two big goals.
Three: unrealistic time frames and expectations versus understanding the level of work, time, effort and money to achieve said goal.
First of all, we tend to set goals based on what we think we should do, be, or have instead of what we really want. For example, as moms, we might think we should stay at home instead of work, or work less, or do all the mom activities instead of work. We may think we should have a fancy car, a big home, kids in private school, that we should dress like this or that, that we should run, work out five times a week, etc. An example: “I should work out.” When you think you should work out, it feels like a chore, and you don’t do it. It’s time to throw every “should” out the window.
The second part of the reframing process is shifting from setting high level “going all-in” goals in every area of life to focusing on one or two of these goals. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t set goals in all areas of life. Instead, you need to choose one or two main goals to focus on, and let the other goals be “sidekick” goals for now.
For example, let’s say that your goal is to lose 30 lbs this year. Imagine if you decided to make this one goal non-negotiable. This means all your time, resources, energy, effort, and attention is focused on that one goal. Instead of spreading yourself thin by focusing on losing 30 lbs, gaining 30 lbs of muscle and switching to a plant-based diet all at once, your main focus is losing 30 lbs, which is a realistic and manageable goal. Once you have achieved this major goal, you can focus on gaining muscle mass, or converting to a plant-based diet, etc.
The third part of the process is having unrealistic time frames and expectations around reaching goals. In today’s day and age, we have developed a culture of instant gratification. Everywhere we turn, there is a solution to “get rich quick” or “lose weight fast.” To make matters worse, we constantly compare ourselves to everyone around us who appear to “have it all.” This makes us feel like we should be able to get the results in 30 days, 90 days, or a year. The reality is that most likely, it will take much more than that to create a true lifestyle change that is sustainable.
Imagine instead of beating yourself up for not hitting an unrealistic goal, you were celebrating win after win, growing and learning, feeling empowered about your progress, and saying encouraging words to yourself.
So this year, give yourself more than enough time to hit your goals. For example, consider the goal of losing 30 lbs. Give yourself an entire year or two to lose it. It might sound crazy, I know. However, when life happens, when you go on vacation, when you hit a plateau, or you have a bad week, instead of feeling guilty, you know you are on track because you prepared to give yourself time and grace for the unexpected nature of real life.
Let’s review how to reframe your goals going into this year:
Make goals based on what you really want.
Decide on one or two big goals and make the rest smaller goals.
Expand your timeline and expectations to something where it would be unreasonable for you not to hit that goal in that new timeframe. Can you feel your possibilities brewing already?! I can.
This is your time. This is your year. Decide what you want, unapologetically, and use the above advice to create your best year yet. I’ll leave you with one last thing – what if these three tweaks were literally the answer to you achieving your goals? Like this is the lottery winning formula, and there is no way you don’t achieve your goals if you decide to make these changes?! I’m cheering you on and can’t wait to hear and see what you create in 2023!
Samantha is a Health and Life Coach. She helps busy women ditch the weight for good through the simplest approach ever and helps them make those big badass life goals become a reality. She is a top-placing ultra marathon runner, speaker, a mom of two little dudes, and loves to empower women. You can connect with her on social media or book a free consultation call on her website.
Website: SamanthaNivens.com
Facebook: Samantha.nivens.9
LinkedIn: Samantha Nivens
IG: @samanthasreallife